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The family vacation has been simply smashing thus far. I’m bummed that I have to leave both the beach and my lovely family tomorrow, but I’m sure New York will make it up to me. What it lacks in nice (and glass free) beaches and quality family-isms it makes up with theatre, dancing, friends, a mish-mash of culture, and pretty much every other random thing you can think of.

Speaking of family-isms, with this assortment of photos, I’ll also supply you readers with some choice quotes from the past few days. I hope you find them just as hilarious as my family and I did, although sometimes it really is a you-had-to-be-there-to-think-this-really-silly-comment-was-remotely-funny:

We have done a lot of pool lounging/enjoying, and as you can see, it’s quite a chore. I know, I’m really a saint.

Besides pool and beach enjoyment, Ian and I have been participating in some good old-fashioned childhood shenanigans, like throwing grapes at each other and trying to catch them in our mouths. Every time Ian would throw a grape at me, I would wince or say “ow,” like it wasn’t a tiny, squishy fruit.

Ian – [Ian smirk] Don’t look so surprised. Just keep telling yourself it’s just a grape.

I finally succeeded, but I don’t think I’m going to get a job at one of those Hibachi steakhouse restaurants anytime soon.

We’ve been trying different places for lunch every day and have been attempting to consume as much seafood and fried meals as we can. En route to this restaurant, Kenny B’s French Quarter Cafe, the following conversation was started by my mother. I’m actually unsure how it even came up:

Mom – I was really cute when I was younger, wasn’t I, Greg?

Ian – That’s a loaded question, dad. There’s only one right answer.

He answered correctly and we all made it safely to the restaurant.

I spy the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion in this mural on the restaurant’s wall.

Yeeeeaaah. That’s how its done. I tried fried frog legs for the first time with some fried green tomatoes on the side and, of course, hushpuppies. ERRTHING GETS FRIED. It has been a theme of the vacation.

There are a couple of really good outlet malls in Hilton Head, so of course the family did some shopping. It was quite the affair. Ian did the least amount of shopping, but he was tasked with the role of carrying a Gap bag that contained his boxer purchases. Clearly this was too much responsibility, as shortly after he was handed the bag, he left it in a shoe store. Don’t worry, he retrieved it, and we got some great story-telling out of it:

Ian – [back at the shoe store] You have a Gap bag?

Store clerk – Uh… is it filled with boxers?

Ian – Yeah… Boxer briefs.

——–

Ian – I left it there strategically so I wouldn’t have to carry it. Joke’s on them.

——-

Ian – Yeah do you have some boxers with mustaches on them? No they’re not for children. They’re for me.

——-

Ian – Is there anything else important that you want me to carry and lose?

He really couldn’t live the whole thing down. Now every time we can’t find something right away, we’ve been making little comments towards Ian. This is familial love.

So we started shopping at around 2:30 and continued for about three, three and a half hours, and by the end, Ian was tired/hungry/grumpy. We tried to pacify him with the iPad/promise of air-conditioning and rest in Panera, but he really wasn’t having any of it. We offered multiple times to get something to eat or drink at Panera or another restaurant, but in Ian’s retelling of the story, he was clearly the victim:

Ian – Well we started shopping at eleven and were in Tommy Hilfiger seven hours later. And I was thirsty and asked to get something to drink and the family was like NO WE’RE SHOPPING. And we’re only buying things for your sister and your father.

First world problems, I know.

We spent the Fourth of July at a little Hilton Head harbor town area. Despite being incredibly hot, it was a lovely end to a relaxing day by the pool. We saw some fireworks, Ian took some photos for his blog, and we even managed to get in some potential season’s greetings card photos.

Well, clearly not every photo is going to be sent to the rest of our family and friends…but I’d say this photo is pretty damn perfect.

I have one last miscellaneous quote from the Fourth to share with you guys before I leave you with a cat.

On Tuesday night, we all watched Gone with the Wind, as it was on TV and I had never seen it. First of all, I’m convinced that many of the people who make references to it have never actually seen the movie, as Scarlet O’Hara is a terribly unattractive character (although quite beautiful and has an amazing wardrobe) and I found the movie not at all romantic.

Anyway, we were talking about it at dinner the next day and mom pulled a total mom translator. If you haven’t seen the SNL skit on the Mom Translator, you must. It’s so spot on (“Who do you think is cuter, Rabbi Rinaldi or Champ Crawdaddy?” “Ohhh you mean Ryan Reynolds or Chace Crawford!”). This was a perfect case:

Mom – It was the same era as that snow bud thing.

Ariane – …Rosebud?

Ian – Also, it’s Citizen Kane, not Rosebud. Certainly not “snow bud thing.”

She’s adorable, right? And as long as I’ve bragged about my brother, might as well brag about my mom as well. She’s also a super artistically talented medical illustrator and painter. My family is dripping with artistry.

Seriously, my family rocks and I’ll be sad to leave them. Although it is nice that I’m just flying back to NY while they have a lovely 13 hour drive back to St. Louis. I have to say, family car bonding is not as relaxing as family beach vacation bonding.

And now time for the send off:

If only this existed, then my New York summer would really be purrfect.

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